A Few new pics

Since today is the end of the month, I thought I'd go through my October folder and post some pictures of Em that hadn't made it to the blog.

Here is the fairy princess superstar Happy girl in front of the store.
Em with her two nurse maids. Earlier this month Em got really sick. Luckily the bug went through her in about 24 hours, but it was by far the worst night we've had here since she was born. I stayed home with and this is whats most of the day looked like.

The little rooster that could!

For those that have been following our continuing chicken saga. . . this one's for you.

One morning about a month ago Brian informed me that he heard crowing coming from the chicken coop. He said that he went to see who it was and all of the chickens sat there staring at him as if to say, "Wasn't me!"

The next morning, I heard it too. . . . .

The little chicken that was lost and then found has turned out to be one fiesty little rooster. Little Guy was named appropritately, he is in fact a little "GUY".

We went back and forth about whether or not we were going to keep him. We were so attached to this guy after surviving his big night out with a racoon, that it broke my heart to let him go. We did the responsible thing and checked in with the neighbors and he wasn't bothering anyone. He was a lazy rooster and wouldn't start crowing until around 7:30 or 8, so what's the harm?

Well a couple days after the crowing began his testosterone kicked in and he started becoming really aggressive. Think that guy at the bar who's had to many beers that puffs up his chest at everyone. . .well that was Little Guy. He was picking on the hens, he pecked Brian and drew blood, and would charge you if you entered the coop. Little Guy had to go.

I posted an ad on Craigslist and a woman who "rescues chickens" contacted me. She promised he wouldn't become soup and that he would be free to roam her 2 acres and puff up and act as manly as he wanted . . . he may even get a little chicken loving out of the deal. . . wink wink. She said we could come out to visit anytime we'd like to meet her flock.

The situation sounded too good to pass up so I brought LG to the store to meet her. She took him out of his box, chatted with him for a minute, and then kissed him on the head before putting him in a dog kennel with a blanket, food, and water. I don't think I could have asked for a better person to take him home. Had it not been the perfect home, I don't think I could have given him up but I think it worked out for the best!

Here's a few pictures of the final photoshoot as a flock of 5.

Henny, Chippy's butt, Big Bird, and Penny.

What are you looking at??

Little Guy and his "chicks"

Some days are better than others

and today was one of those days.

All set,
everyone hands in. . .
on three. .
TEAM!
These are my three greyhounds.
Yes human child thinks she's one of the pack.
Notice the hand holding.


Today we woke up to Friday morning French toast and had an impromptu photo session with Em and the greyhounds. I think this is the best picture of the three. . . .


Em throwing gang signs. . .or acting like a turkey. . . I'm not sure which.

Below is Truman and Em having a "moment" This was after breakfast.

Breakfast consisted of Em grabbing a very syrupy piece of french toast.

Em eating said french toast.

Em sticking her hands out and giggling.. . . as Truman licked the syrup off her hands.

I asked her what she was doing and her reply, "Truman is wiping!"

Good answer, good answer!

Em's lounging (or posing) in this one.

She then decided it would be okay to put a pillow in our bottom drawer and lay down. Thankfully we had transitioned this drawer to a toy drawer long ago.. . .

Today was the Halloween party at Earth Mother Preschool and Daycare and Em REFUSED her lion costume. Brian went to the back room, whipped something together, and Em morphed into a Fairy Princess. She was so happy with this costume, that she wore it ALL DAY!!

Here she is cheesing it up for the camera. . .note: Truman and Mazie wanted their 30 seconds of fame.. .but how do you compete with such a cute kid??

Thank God they're cute!

Earlier this week I was ready to give up on parenting and run away to join a band of chimpanzees in Uganda. I would have rather taken on the running bulls in Pamplona that deal with my troublesome almost two year old who has decided that she's in charge.

Monday was "that" day. The day that definitely needs to be blogged about.

Emma is potty trained.

Well potty trained for the most part.

For the past few weeks she's been using her nap time to do #2. People say children aren't manipulative, and I totally disagree. She's realized that if she poops in her pull-up then she gets more mom time because I will come back, clean her up, and and change her. More mom time equals more awake time and less nap time.

Okay this is fine. I can deal with this. I've been telling myself that this is a phase and this too shall pass.

Well Monday, the shit hit the fan. . literally.

Em used her nap to relieve herself and when she yelled, "Mamma, diaper change," I expected our usual quick change and back to bed.

What I saw I was totally unprepared for. . . .

It appeared that Emma decided "not to bother me" and after she pooped she took off her dirty diaper. She then lovingly tossed the turds out of the crib and onto the floor and in the process got some on her hands. Em hates dirty hands so she wiped her hands on her sides to "clean" them off which ended in smearing. I think she then realized that wiping didn't work so she grabbed one of her blankets to wipe herself off. By the time I got there she had reached the point of no return. . . . .

I think my head almost exploded.

Thankfully the dog wash is functional because I grabbed my stinky child and plopped her in the dog tub and gave her a good spray down. I changed her bedding, cleaned up her crib, changed her sheets, put on new clothes, kissed her good night and put her back down for a nap, all the while trying to keep my composure.

Thirty minutes later I hear, "Emma, diaper change!" and imagine my surprise when I see my diaper less child curled up on a poo covered pillow trying not to make eye contact.

Yes, you guessed it . .. she pooped AGAIN . .and took her diaper off AGAIN.

Back to the tub she went. As I washed her down I thought to myself, "Anything was better than this". . and then. . . I spotted the packing tape.

After cleaning her up I put on a nice clean pull-up supported with a nice piece of packing tape around the waist. She had dirtied her back-up bedding so I sanitized her crib, plopped her into a barren crib, shut the curtain and let her scream.

I spent the rest of the day pissed off, angry, and wanting the day to be over. I couldn't wait to get home to hand Emma over to Brian and be done with parenting for the day. Well I forgot Brian had class on Monday night so I was on my own. I fed her, bathed her, put her in her crib 45 minutes early, turned off the light and walked away. Now for that glass of wine . . . .

As I sat down on the couch trying to decompress I hear, "Mamma! Mamma!"

I went back to check on her and she looked up at me and said, "Mamma sing Mockingbird" and at that very second my heart melted.

I picked her up, gave her a big kiss, held her like a baby and sang her "mockingbird" two or three times. I put her back to bed and she said, "Night, night mamma. I love you."

Monday will go down in the books as one of the hardest days I've had to date as a parent. I definitely learned something that day. . . one child could make you feel so many different emotions in one day.

I love you too, Emmie Lemmie!

Focus Rally America

Brian and Ryan have an interview with an online web show similiar to the Amazing Race. If the they get picked they will travel across the US in a Ford Focus using only social networking to figure out where to go. Both need more Facebook friends and twitter followers. Please help to make this happen. ..

Friend them on Facebook

Brian Schroeder
http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=1432256955

Ryan Hester
http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=685653491

or follow brian via twitter @ http://twitter.com/architectbrian

Videos of Emma

For those of you that live far away I wanted to give you some brief clips of my talking, walking, bed stealing, baby loving machine.

I brought a new dog bed home last night and Emma quickly claimed it for her own. Here she's putting her baby to bed.

After putting her baby to bed she decided that it was her turn to try out the dog bad. She stripped down to her underwear and put herself to sleep in the new dog bed. Who needs a toddler bed when you can have a Big Shrimpy dog bed!

I posted this one as an example of her nonstop chattering. .. and I love it when she says Katarina!! Katarina was my first cabbage patch kid and the only one that Em has kept the name. All of the others have become mere variations of doll. . . I think we have "baby doll," "doll doll," and "orange doll."

This morning she tried to reclaim her thrown. If you can't make it out she's saying, "Excuse me, Truman!" At least she's polite as she's trying to push him off the bed. . ha! Thank goodness he's so patient!

Brian wants Em to be a famous musician. . or at least that's how it seems with all of the harmonicas he's purchased. Here she is giving me a little blues concert.

oh, the almost 2's

My angel has morphed into an almost 2 tantruming monster.

Developments of the past week:
Em loves to go limp and throw herself on the floor to get her way. My reply, "please don't give yourself a concussion."

Em hates napping and will tell me she's not napping. My reply, "you must nap," followed by a marathon wait. Today I waited 2 hours for sleep fairy to arrive.

Em has decided that when frustrated that throwing what ever is in her hand and yelling, "NO AHHH" is okay. My reply, please don't throw things and I take that item away.

My patience is challenged daily but our "good times" still outweigh the bad (for right now).


Here are a few "better sides" of Em.

The model.

The thinker.The clown.

The angel

Hanging around

Em's studying up to one day work at the store. Today she pulled up a box, dropped in her pillow and doll, grabbed an Orijen brochure and caught up on her studies.

Doesn't this look comfortable. . . .

not really.

Yay for stripey feet!

Taking a break. She pulled up her blanket and asked me to cover her. I guess a box is a good a place to rest as any. . . .

She wants to tell you a little secret. Her birthday is coming. . . .